Lately, I’ve been working on a new project (not contracted, just me vibing) and it involves robots. Personally, I kind of love robots. I definitely fear a sentient AI takeover and hate the idea that all AI have to be writers or artists instead of using AI for actually helpful things, like finding new innovations in accessibility, educational purposes, etc. But I think most robots are very cute. I think they’re trying their best. One of the few times my maternal instinct comes out is when I see those little delivery robots on the street. I’m always so scared they’re going to get hit by a car. Like, look at this little guy! It chirps when you tell it it did a great job! I’m shrieking!
That being said, robots can also be quite scary, much like today’s newsletter subject.
If there’s one rabbit hole I will always be fascinated by, it’s weird internet mysteries. I could watch hours and hours of video essays all about the creepy side of the internet and all the strangest viral videos on the web. I don’t know what it is about the subject, but digital internet horror is one of my favorite topics.
One of the most famous creepy YouTube videos is “I Feel Fantastic”. I’m going to warn you right now, if you think androids/robots are creepy and unsettling, maybe DON’T watch the video.
“I Feel Fantastic” was uploaded by the channel creepyblog on April 15th, 2009. It’s a two and a half minute long music video featuring an android named Tara singing, moving around a little and displaying different poses and outfits. At one point, she’s upside down. At another point, the camera focuses on a patch of leaves outside with no other explanation.
It also has an odd caption to go along with it:
“In ancient Greek mythology, Pygmalion was a highly accomplished Cypriot sculptor. Though skilled at imitating the human form, and well acquainted with it's subtleties, he became disgusted by it when he witnessed the Propoetides prostituting themselves. These women were punished by Venus for their lack of worship with a coarseness of skin and a crudeness of nature, and were then forced into prostitution. Seeing this, Pygmalion the sculptor was repelled and could no longer appreciate women. Seemingly alone, Pygmalion sought to create for himself a perfect, pure, unsullied companion. He used his particular skills to this end: he created a statue bride. What you are about to watch is a mysterious video. It's origin is attributed variously, and almost certainly spuriously, to various abstract artists or surrealists. The truth is that what we are seeing, and what we perceive to be strange and disturbing, is actually beauty to it's creator. Perhaps what we are viewing is the work of a modern Pygmalion. To him, her toneless voice, the paleness of her skin and the comparative vibrancy of her lips may indeed be the very embodiment of a perfect woman... Consider the mind-scape of the creator. In whose mind does this appear beautiful? In whose mind is this pure, near worshipful? Are we missing out on his perspective? Who are we to be afraid or to judge them? He may well love her fully, perhaps more fully than any of us could ever hope to be loved. In the mind of her creator, she is a near goddess; the perfect representation, not just of femininity, but the peak of human potential. A perfectly satisfactory being. How does that kind of unconditional love feel? Well, how does she feel? Fantastic.”
Like… okay?
“I Feel Fantastic” became one of the most viral creepy videos on YouTube and it’s easy to see why. There’s something odd about it. Tara’s movements are jerky and robotic, her automaton voice is eerie, her face… eek. This video spread like a wildfire and has been creeping viewers out ever since. It’s spawned many conspiracy theories and one of the most prevailing ones is that Tara’s creator was a serial killer. Tara allegedly wore the victim’s clothes and that shot of the ground near the end is where the bodies are buried. Some theorized that “I feel fantastic” is what the killer wished his victims would say.
But honestly, this is all fake, so where did Tara come from?
Tara’s creator is a man named John Bergeron, a robotics engineer with an interest in creating automatons. Tara was not his first android. John had shared his creations on AndroidWorld.com starting in the 90s. His androids could not do complex tasks, but they could speak and were meant to serve as entertainment or interesting conversation pieces. These androids were for sale and could be modified with different faces, hairstyles etc.
It appears as though Tara was created in 2003 and 2004, as noted from AndroidWorld below.
What we do know is that Tara was a music video star. You could actually purchase the music videos and they would be delivered to you via DVD. This Medium article is fascinating and as it turns out, as of 2020, you could still buy the videos! So, we know where these videos came from.
They began popping up on YouTube over the years in different clips, under names such as “The Future” and “Fantastic Hey Hey Hey” and “Electric Metal”. However, none of those videos took off the way that “I Feel Fantastic” did in 2009.
It’s believed that John Bergeron died in 2005, so he was most definitely not the uploader to the creepyblog channel, and there was activity on the Android Music Videos website featuring Tara after his alleged death. This leads people to think perhaps his son was the creator of Tara. But it’s still odd. After those few uploads and updates, he’s virtually disappeared from the internet, which doesn’t add up to me.
My personal theory is that since the Tara music videos were for sale and popped up from numerous people on YouTube, they were just bopping around the web for many years from people who bought them and found them creepy. The internet is full of people trying to go viral for strange shit. I don’t think there’s actually anything nefarious going on with Tara, and I do think the fact that John Bergeron could build a whole android person and make it sing is pretty damn impressive.
But then again, maybe Tara is out there lurking in the woods or busy working on a record and is getting ready for a tour where Ticketmaster is going to make it impossible to get tickets for!
Robots aside… Here’s what I am up to otherwise!
SoCal Friends: I am going to be in conversation with Carlyn Greenwald to celebrate the release of her fantastic sapphic romance Director’s Cut at Mysterious Galaxy in San Diego! I will bring some bookplates and bookmarks, and maybe some other fun treats for those who want to come say hi.
I am very close to announcing info on a signed preorder incentive and a launch event that’ll be in Los Angeles, as we get closer to LAOC coming out! I can’t wait to share more soon.
Until then!